So, I Called My Husband Who Filed For A Divorce And Asked Him About Visitation…this Is What He Said…?
He said, “I’ll let you know when they move down here…I’ll let you know.”
Ok, man-speak…what does that mean? Ok, I know he told me he’ll let me know, but I am ready to file my response SOON. Like within the next week w/my attorney.
I’ve been asking him like 2x a week about it but I never get a response. Also, I am planning to settle down in Dallas…that is why he answered, “I’ll let you know when they get down here…”
I’m being nice to him…I’m even asking him instead of rushing it with my lawyer.
He filed for a divorce after a huge argument. And after I found out, I told him that I was glad he did, b/c now I can totally move on with my life. At first I was sad, but had to be honest with myself and really dig deep down, because I know he is not good for me. Believe me, it was a decision my heart didn’t want to make but also couldn’t take and my head (mind) knows I deserve better.
But I’m doing my part to help my kids have a relationship with him..but there is only so much I can do.
He’s had almost 2 weeks to think about it..does it really take that long to think about whether you want your kids to spend a holiday such as Thanksgiving or Christmas with you each year?
Stop being nice. Think about your welfare (as he is about his own) and that of your children. Get that lawyer and let him deal with it impartially. And don’t let your ex jerk you around, which IS what he is doing. He should get them for a month in the summer, time during the week, if feasible, and alternating holidays and that is probably what the court will rule!
Get going with that lawyer and good luck!
It sounds like it could be several things, including the fact that if you were to send the kids there for a visit now, you might next hear that he is going to keep them and let you worry about visitation. Let your attorney handle this or you may end up with him trying to get the kids to not have a relationship with you!!
Your ex might have problems seeing himself in the future with your (new) husband/significant other. Other than that he should be obligated to see his kids on the holidays or you can bring them to him. It can’t be just him visiting you all the time, it’s not fair.
Looking out for the welfare of your children ,would be , Keep them together , proper visitation , agreed in writing and EX spouse following the rules . Therefore you will have a great life ,and he will no longer control it ! It is better for the children. See a lawyer to do this .
it sounds like his just doesn’t wan the responsibility. So his just trying your patients. either way try and work things out through your lawyer that is why you pay him. beside it’s just better that way.
good luck.
Are you married to my husband? This is just how they act. Controlling, evasive. DUMB. Godspeed. Read my Q’s and As and pray alot. Stand your ground. Be strong. Keep the kids and GOD 1st. You’ll make it.
Peace.
why bother if he really wanted to spend some time with his kids, he would’ve already told you either yes or no. forget it you should go thru your lawyer. let him call you if he wants to see his kids.
No more phone calls let your lawyer get on paper.
Stop asking him anything. Take up all the issues with your attorney. That’s why you hired one, right?
If you and your husband could get along and make decisions together, then you wouldn’t be getting a divorce. There is a reason why people hire a lawyer and spend all that money when they get a divorce. Let your lawyer handle this problem and all the other problems you will have to face in this divorce.
Chances are the judge will say (if you live near each other) that your husband will get every other week-end, every other holiday, and about 6 weeks every Summer.
It sounds like your husband is thinking about all the work and responsibilities he will have to handle on his own when the kids come to visit him. A lot of men want to see their children, but they don’t want to deal with taking care of them. I’m assuming that when you were married, it was pretty much up to you, to take care of the kids??? He’s thinking about his new freedom, not being tied down to being a single week-end daddy.
It’s good that you want to get along with your ex and not give him a hard time and interfere with his right to see the children. But you have to understand, there are a lot of single fathers out there who are more concerned with being free, then being a father. Be prepared to be there for your children, when he’s too busy with his own life and can’t be bothered with the children.
It’s not your job to help your ex to get the visitation he wants with his children. If he wants to see them, then he will go through his lawyer to help him with his visitation rights. I would completely stop asking him when he wants to see his own children. Just let the lawyers handle all of that.
the truth is no matter how hard you try for them to have a relationship if he don’t want to work at it , it will not happen, my children & I are still dealing with the same issue where my x is concern it is almost 10 years since my divorce and the man get worst at each passing year
he did not get in touch with the kids from 2006 to 2008 and he file with the court that I had kidnapped the kids well we live les than3 minutes from him and he also have phone #s & emails but never get in touch
my sons ask him where have you being it take you 2 years to miss us (you know that is because I stop being the go in between)
just like you I did everything to make him have a relationship with the children well one day I decided that I can no longer do it, I need to take care of me & and my children, I realized that I need to use my time with them and not using it trying to get a growing man realized that he needs to spend time with his kids
and that is what you need to do let it go, use your energy on your children not on him
id fight for my kids too…especially afer my wife left…and i won easily….and i would not have it any other way…just cuz she wanted to leave does not mean i must be punished from seeing my kids every day freak dat!
They are with me 95 percent of the time now…and not that I keep them away she lives right down the road and rarely sees them by her choice anyway. She has the lifeshe always wanted…gets to see and bang who she wants to and get drunk and do drugs every day….but i have the kids…im good. There is no way I wante them living in an environment filled with alcohol and drugs no way!
But yeah go to court and let the judge decide..good luck girl i hope that the kids end up with the best parent and that their needs are being met 1st
Holidays and who has the kids is not the main issue here. See your lawyer and move on with the divorce. He knows you well and most likely sees that you are a planning woman. If he waits to long he’ll have to accept it when you tell him you have already made plans for the holidays, with the kids, that do not include him. Once you have moved and divorced him many things will fall into place. It will amaze you for sure.
As a man, in “man speak” I’ll let you know, means, don’t bug me I don’t know and don’t want to think about it.
You really do need to get visitation down on paper, vacations, holidays, regular visits. He’s evading the issue totally, which most often means he’s going to try to take advantage of you for his benefit. I don’t know how far apart you will be living but distance will make a difference in visitation. Who will have main custody will also matter a lot.
You have a lawyer, use him or her to help you with this. Divorce is always hard, but you don’t have to do it all by yourself, let the people you pay (your lawyer) help get this worked out so it’s fair to everyone.
Just my thoughts
Hes only playing mind games here with you. Hes trying to stress you to the max and probably hoping youll break so he can easily get the kids by proving you mentally unfit, and this does happen just like this. Just tell him since he doesnt want to deal with you then he can deal with your attorney now. Its for the best anyhow and quit playing his game. good luck
He sounds reallly immature to me. He isn’t sure if he even wants visits with his own children? No matter what he says from here on out, this is NOT a guy you can count on for support, visits with the kids, etc. Do not let him have any custody of them until he grows up. I’d get your lawyer to write in the custody agreement that he only gets visits with the kids at “mutually agreeable times and dates.” That way you can re-evaluate his ability to care for the kids (or return them to you after visits) safely. Don’t trust him. Just take physical custody of your children and don’t put in any set visitation for him. If he wants any , he’ll have to “mutually agree with you” or file a custody action to get some visits (which will cost him money). Right now, he’s not a parent I’d trust to even be around the children since he can’t make up his mind if he even wants to see them.
You need to stop calling him and let the lawyers and judge decide what is best for the children. When one or the other file’s in family court, The only ones that should be talking to the other parent is the children. After, everything is said and done in court. And the order is signed, sealed and delivered. Then the parents have to learn to be sociable with each other for the kids sake. In other words, Your only contact with the other parent should be concerning the children only. Good luck learning the ropes, it’s a long and hard lesson.